From the brutal to the sludgy to the experimental to the symphonic, we raise our horns in welcome and warning to the coming week: we are here to ROCK.
“Only Women Bleed” is not Alice Cooper’s best power ballad. No, that honour goes to 1991’s “Might As Well Be On Mars” from the unevenly genius Hey Stoopid album. The album itself is a bit of a leftovers collection of songs co-written with hitmaker Desmond Child—who took Cooper to yet another commercial comeback with 1989’s Trash—and features guest musicians galore.
But the song…though co-written by Child, with longtime Alice Cooper guitar hero & power ballad penner Dick Wagner, “Might As Well Be On Mars” features no high profile guest musicians. Too long for radio, the wrong fit to feature in Cooper’s conceptual concert setlists, two parts glam metal but one part Frank Sinatra’s Only The Lonely—it’s a “deep cut” if there ever was one, placed unceremoniously before the heavy hitter “Feed My Frankenstein” (y’know, the song that *does* have all those famous guest musicians and accompanies the famous “we’re not worthy” scene from Wayne’s World). Cooper may as well have been on Mars, indeed, for how far this track was gonna land from any potential audience. But the song…it’s lush. It’s tortured. It’s cinematic. It’s a bit cookie-cutter until it modulates into something angular and alienating. And it’s a fine vocal performance from a man whose make-up often overshadows his pipes. Hey stoopid, add this song to your Alice Cooper/Power Ballad/90’s playlist.